Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire

Johnny was a unique guy. To this day, I hold an appreciation for his personality and character. He had a quirky humor and was known around the choral/drama circles as the guy who began sentences with, “I’m not gonna blow sand up your tails” and the like. But he was also a gentleman. I remember one occasion in particular when he had stopped by unexpectedly and my parents weren’t home. I invited him in but he refused to sit down until they returned. For like ten minutes he literally paced around the living room because he didn’t want them to think that he was too comfortable being there unsupervised.

He picked me up for the movies on the night of the big break up. As we headed to the theatre we chatted about our day. “How’s Mitch?” he asked. I took a deep breath. “Um, I broke up with him today. So…” I shrugged. “Really?” It was just one word but we both felt the weight of it. It was heavy with questions and possibilities but nothing more was said about it.

By the end of the night, a movie between two friends had taken on the feel of an official date and so it was not a great surprise when he kissed me goodnight. “I wondered if you would let me do that,” he said. I let him. But I was really beginning to wonder about this kissing thing. Maybe it was me who was lacking the skills to really pack a punch. It just didn’t seem like the kind of kiss I would want to spend the rest of my life with. But Johnny was a really sweet guy and he seemed to care about me so, we spent most of the summer together and then wrote to each other often when he headed off to college.

We would catch up on his weekend visits home and talk on the phone a lot. He had this habit of keeping me on the phone until very late at night and then refusing to hang up with me. He would say “I’m gonna let you go now.” And then just as I said “goodbye” he would restart the conversation and stall for another five minutes, and then another, and then another. It was sweetly annoying in a -dang, I really want to get off this phone but how can I hang up on him when he’s only doing it because he likes me- way.

During the week, I was enjoying my junior year of high school and making new friends. I’d met a couple of new guys in my chorus class and one of them invited me to their church. His name was Mike and his best friend’s name was Tim. I decided to take them up on the offer and made plans to join them for a Friday night youth gathering. Johnny called earlier that afternoon, having come home for the weekend, with apparently big plans for how we would spend it together.

When I explained that I had made other arrangements for the night, he didn’t take it very well. And for the life of me I couldn’t understand why he was so upset with me. I’d never thought of us as an exclusive item. We were just “hanging out,” right? Id-ee-ut.